Everyone Is Afraid Of Love
Everyone is afraid of love. You’ve experienced this scary, vulnerable love when you first met that person and fell madly in love. You certainly feel this kind of love if you are a parent. Some nights, I lie down beside my daughter and I watch her sleep. I am totally overwhelmed with love for her. And sometimes I get scared. I think, “Oh my God, I hope nothing ever happens to her…I hope she’s always safe and loved and healthy and happy.” And amidst these thoughts, the fear comes up. Deep, deep love can do that.
When the fear comes up, we tend to contract. We collapse, energetically. This is what fear does to us.
When you are hit with those overwhelming and tremendous feelings of love, walk into it with an open heart. Keep your heart open even in the face of that fear. Let that love permeate your cells, your blood, your organs, your mind, your everything.
This is what enlightenment is. Not allowing the illusions of fracture and loss and betrayal to overshadow us. No. It is to allow that grand love within us to overshadow EVERYTHING. It is to take that fearful voice inside of you and bring it into your heart and expand it. We expand it into love.
The truth is, we can never ‘get rid’ of anything. Nothing. Nada.
But we have the ability to transform anything. And that is what we agreed to do when we came here. We agreed to see our shit for what it is: Shit. Nonsense. EGO. And we agreed and actually brought the strength with us to transform it.
We don’t transform through intellectual processes. Sorry folks. It would be so easy to do it that way, wouldn’t it? We could just plop down in the nearest shrink’s office (not to diminish shrinks…there are some wonderful ones out there) and analyze and intellectualize the shit out of our neuroses. But we’d walk out with the same neuroses that we came in with.
The key to this is transformation.
We take our fears – in this case, our fears of love (and I’ll be honest with you…it’s the only fear that actually exists) and we look it square in the eye. We really, really look at it. We have compassion and…wait for it…love, for these unconscious parts of us, and we thank them for coming to teach us.
And then we gather that fearful energy and bring it into our hearts. We allow the largeness and the all-encompassing nature of our hearts to literally cleanse and transform these fears. In other words, we bring LOVE to the fear.
This is an organic process that, when done with sincerity and total surrender, complete transformation takes place. I’ve written before about an experience that I had with this. About 6 years ago, I went through a depression. I had never been depressed before and was taken aback at how defeated and sad and numb I felt. As an energy healer, I proceeded to pull out every tool in my toolkit in order to attempt to fix this depression. I just wanted it to go away.
One day, I was sitting alone in my house and I felt that familiar sadness bubble up. I started to feel hysterical, trying to figure out how to make it all go away. This voice inside of me said, “Stop Ann. Just let it bubble up.” So I did. I sank right into the feeling that was, once again, overwhelming me. I sank and I sank and I sank. I was no longer fighting it. I literally felt myself go down into a place within myself that I had never quite touched. And when I got there, the most curious thing happened.
I fell into bliss. In the total surrender of the sadness (and in surrendering, I was loving myself completely) it completely transformed into bliss. The depression never returned. That doesn’t mean that I still don’t have upsetting moments or days, even. I still struggle with certain aspects of myself and I still question myself all the time.
But the depression has never returned. And most days I am able to make contact with that space where bliss resides, even if for a moment.
So take your fears and be willing to transform them into something infinite and conscious and loving. I believe that is what our fears have come to do. They are invitations to return to love.
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